am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize