he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
