What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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