This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
