I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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