it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
