Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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