Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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