he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
