Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
