My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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