Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
