He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
