I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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