Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
