I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So much Jack, so little girl.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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