When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
