I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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