But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
