ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
