I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
send nudes
from the living room?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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