Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
