mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
