I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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