I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
