What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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