If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You can't just leave with hair like that
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
