I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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