Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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