The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
