Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
whose parrot is this?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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