She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
