$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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