just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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