She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
