Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
