Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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