The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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