we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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