He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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