No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
