i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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