So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
