i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
