So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize