careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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