Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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