so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
