Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
