why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
