So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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