She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
