he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
